The roads we take

It seems as if I’ve been critical of Open University in my last couple of entries, and that would be an incorrect analysis. In fact, the tutor for the Social Sciences foundation course was excellent. I would say that that course really caused me to look at things in a whole new light. And Psychology – with a different tutor, of course - gave me insights that I still remember. I gave up OU after that, though. I was quite disappointed with my exam results when I found that I was getting very confused with the various different views from different psychologists. However, the main reason was that I missed creative writing, for while I studied I had no time to write fiction. Eventually I completed a modular degree at Surrey University, but by that time, I’d written A Bottle of Plonk: (http://www.goldenford.co.uk/main.pl?plonk) and Tainted Tree.

I applied to OU when my daughter left home for university. If you know yourself and know that something is going to make you sad and empty, you have to plan for it. I believe this might even come under the heading of cognitive therapy. I knew I would miss my daughter and that it would be particularly difficult having no children left in the house, my son, having already left home. Something very large had to fill that gap, and OU was the choice I made. I had also lost a very close friend through cancer at around the same time. I felt it was a decision she would have approved of, for she had taken an academic route, whereas I had left school after O-levels and commercial training to become a secretary.

Another decision I made was to self-publish my autobiographical book The Fruit of the Tree (http://freespace.virgin.net/jackie.luben/fruit.html) after trying the conventional approach, and that was because of a significant birthday. And of course, the writing of the book itself was as a result of the most – for me – life changing event in my life, the cot death of my daughter, Amanda.

Writing is therapeutic and the writing I did at the time helped me greatly. But, apart from the diary I wrote during my teens and early twenties, I have never written just for myself. For me, it’s not just a therapy. I’m a writer. I enjoy writing and I want an audience for what I’ve written. That’s why it was not sufficient just to write The Fruit of the Tree - I wanted – and still want – other people to read the book too.

I don’t quite know why I’m being thoughtful – perhaps it’s they grey sky that hovers overhead today. I’m not sad. Just thoughtful.

We had a meeting of Goldenford yesterday, and discussed various events to market our books – which is good. And I also spent an enjoyable lunch and beyond with Irene (www.myspace.com/ireneblack) on Wednesday. We went over some of the fine details of her next book – Sold to the Lady with the Lime Green Laptop which will be Goldenford’s next project after The Gawain Quest which will be launched in June. Being part of the company is enjoyable and even if the project is not your own, it’s good to be part of it.

I’m still looking at front cover ideas for Tainted Tree and have not yet put in the work on the first chapters. I spoke to someone I met on holiday last year, who bought both my books, and she asked me when my next one would be out. ‘Don’t forget to let me know, so I can buy a copy,’ she said. Always uplifting to hear comments like that.

An afterthought, I want to add a list of links to others' sites to my profile, but haven't worked out how to do it. I'd be very grateful for help with that.