Ants, Hills and Glasses

After a day of tackling paperwork and the washing/ironing, I was out on Tuesday, giving a talk on self-publishing my book, The Fruit of the Tree, at a writers’ workshop. The tutor there taught at my first ever writing class at the Guildford Institute, where it still takes place. It seemed to go well and I sold a few books. Then we went out to lunch with a poet from the group – also one of the very early members. I also did a little shopping before returning home. Guildford has a lot of atmosphere, and I like shopping there, but it’s on the North Downs, so going up and down the High Street is very tiring if you’re not very fit. And living in a bungalow means my legs are not used to climbing.

I used a different contact lens, with not so much correction of my short sight, in my left eye. This enables me to read without glasses, which is useful on an occasion like this, when I’m referring to notes. Ny normal vision, of course, is not quite so good, so I had to wear glasses for driving. In fact I own so many different sorts of glasses, as well as my contacts, I should have a filing cabinet for them. Apart from the driving glasses and the ordinary glasses, for when I’m not wearing contacts, there’s also the sun glasses with prescription lenses and the ordinary sun glasses. Then there’s the several pairs of reading glasses, dotted around the house, and finally, a pair of reading sun glasses. This is a sop to my son, who can’t bear to see me wearing reading glasses underneath my sunglasses.

When I got home, I was delighted to find that M had removed the shower tray and the glass doors and side. I was dreading being the plumber’s mate in that job. The glass is heavy and M is very short of patience when he thinks you should know what he wants you to do, which of course I don’t, because if I’d wanted a practical career, I would have set out to have one. So I could see me dropping the doors, when he shouted, ‘Hold that.’ Or alternatively, him dropping the doors on me, because I got in the way. So one half of the job’s done. Now I only have the other half to dread - the reinstating of the shower cabinet. The whole area is saturated and has to dry out before we can do anything. When M smashed out the tray, he found an ant colony underneath, which is no surprise to me at all, but apparently was to him. He said he’d never seen so many eggs, and of course the ants (red ones and black ones) were charging all over the place, trying to protect the nest. He was completely unprepared and had to rush to find the spray, while the things were climbing all over him and all over the bathroom. The earth and stuff that he removed took a couple of dustbin bags. I must say when I heard this sorry tale, I was thankful all over again that I hadn’t been around at the time.

My Bottle of Plonk cover, details at my website, http://freespace.virgin.net/jackie.luben, is in a competition at: http://www.thecoveyawards.blogspot.com/. Please, if you feel so inclined, go and vote for it. It’s No. 11. There are no prizes; it’s just a matter of raising the profile of my book.